Kristen Stewart's Poem for Robert Pattinson Is Truly Eccentric. A Critique.

It's no solution that Kristen Stewart likes to be considered an angsty soul who carries the weight of the whole world on her behalf shoulders. The 23-year old Twilight star has regularly bemoaned her rather tough standing in existence as a Hollywood celebrity who rakes in countless dollars for pictures. Life's a b****, in-it, Kristen?

We shouldn't be overly tough on her though, she does have her fair-share of issues. It has to be an actual pain to be papped cheating in your boyfriend using a married dad-of-2 when you'd attended such pains to hold the matter private. By private, we suggest acting all shocked when you're found snogging in public places and after that.

Seclusion is something Kristen constantly maintains she values above everything else. So then it's not surprising that she's launched an incredibly weird poem she written of a twelvemonth past to worldwide mag, Marie-Claire, for all the planet to study. And scrutinize, don't neglect scrutinize.

A forward-slash in the name is obviously an indicator this poem will one-day be classed as among the greats, it's a well known feature of significant poetry. I'm virtually sure 'My Heart is a Wiffle Ball/Flexibility Pole' will one-day show up in the GCSE English Literature Anthology along with Carol Ann Duffy.

Kristen requires it up on herself to use her poem as a way to introduce new phrases to the English-Language. 'Kismetly' seems, for all intensive functions, to be Kristen's construal of exactly what the theory of Kismet would appear to be, were it an adverb.

She subsequently continues to threaten: The performer subsequently seems to possess some type of tantrum: 'I parked and you bellowed'. The normal reaction to somebody making irrational, claps while you're driving would, truly, an an inclincation to pull-over and park the automobile. Kristen proceeds 'I'm drunk on your own morsels', which is higher when compared to a little similar to the current cannibalism instance in Germany, when a police officer was detained for consuming body elements of a different guy.

To summarize. So deeply, Kristen. You're so deep. Substantially overly deep and troubled for the remainder of us to actually recognise exactly what an authentic poetic gift you actually are.